A Bad Day

Saturday, by normal standards, is the best day of the week. You don't have to set the alarm. You don't really have a set schedule to follow, unless you've planned it that way. You can be as lazy or as productive as you want. For me, it is the most irresponsible day of the week! Our Saturday started out fairly well. McKinley woke up about normal time, we played most of the morning, tried to have breakfast (he's not a great eater), and eventually got dressed to start the day. That's where the trouble started!

 

While Joel and McKinley tried to eat/finish up breakfast, I snuck off to shower. Once dressed, I got McKinley's clothes ready and asked him if he was ready to come upstairs and change clothes. The response I received was a very unfavorable. It sounded a little something like this, "NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO" but in a shrill, back of his throat kind of scream. This has been his response to most anything these days. McKinley, we need to change your diaper. See previous response. McKinley, let's go get a bath. See previous response. McKinley, let's get ready to go inside for dinner. See previous response. McKinley, please stop biting me..... You get the picture.

 

Eventually, I got McKinley dressed and let me tell you, he was adorable!! Adorable! I was so ready to get him out and show him off. Joel was going to do some prep work on the outside of the house to get it ready to paint. McKinley and I were going to go Father's Day shopping and run a couple of errands that I haven't been able to accomplish in weeks! That's when the storm hit. As soon as Joel left, I started gathering up all the necessary items to leave home. Diaper bag, diapers, container full of wipes, an extra outfit just in case, a few snacks and all of my essentials. As I headed upstairs to get wipes, a full on melt down began with tears, screams of "bye bye", McKinley scrambling up the stairs to find me only to find me at the top of the stairs. We sit down to put on McKinley's shoes and successfully get one shoe on before he squirms off my lap and starts heading for the living room. Now, I'm not one to play games when getting ready. I'm not going to chace him so I head up stairs to use the restroom one more time before we leave. Again, full on melt down with tears, screams of "bye bye" and him scrambling up the stairs to find me in the bathroom.

 

At this point, I am not taking him anywhere. Not only do I not want him around other people, I don't really want to be around him either. No offense kid, but mama is not a fan of this behavior. So, we head downstairs to wait it out. It only gets worse, so he has to sit on the rug. Remember, sitting on the rug is our "time out". So after rug time, and I sorry mama, we try it again. Full on melt down! Now after lap time and watching the Berenstain Bears, little one is out for a nap. Great! Not only is he taking a nap, which is clearly what he needed, but now I'm stuck at home with errands that won't get run and Father's Day gifts that won't be purchased.

 

What does one do now? I take off the errand running clothes I was in and put on working around the house clothes because this mama ain't going anywhere. And then I start to fume. Why is it that I never get to go anywhere and Joel goes wherever he wants? Because I feel that I need to take McKinley with me everywhere I go and he just goes. My issue isn't with him, it's with me. I don't take the attitude of, "Hey Joel, you stay here while I run around and do my own thing while you watch McKinley." To me, that's being selfish because I don't really need my time. My time is McKinley's time. But the more I thought about it, the madder I got. (Subsequently, that's when I do my best cleaning.)

 

The day just went downhill from there. After his nap, he was still pretty angry. He was dying to go outside and swing so I let him. Joel pushed the swing while I went back in the house to make lunch. I served it up on McKinley's little picnic table only to be met with...you guessed it, see previous response. Joel suggested he eat at the patio table so I made Joel lunch too. There they sat, Joel eating his lunch, McKinley constantly yelling down. I love when he throws a fit outside for all the neighbors to hear. Feel like excellent parents at that moment. Joel calmly finished his lunch, brought in McKinley, and his uneaten lunch, and made him sit on the rug. And sat on the rug he did. For most of the afternoon. I did most of the disciplining that day and by night fall, he wasn't speaking to me.

 

This is when you start to compare your parenting skills to others around you. I see photos on Facebook of my friends and their children who are roughly McKinley's age. They are smiling, laughing, eating in any scenario and eating foods that are actually nutritious. I see them looking happy and healthy and I think about my non-eating, screaming son who sat on the rug for most of Saturday. What am I doing wrong? Am I being too hard on him for lashing out at us when we make him do something he doesn't want to do? This is going to happen his entire life. He is going to do things that aren't right and I can't turn my back everytime he gets mad that I don't let him get his way. I have to note, we give McKinley a warning before we put him on the rug or take a toy away. We explain what he did was wrong and if he does it again, then the consequence is either sit on the rug or the toy is gone for the day.

 On Sunday morning I was armed with a new day. It had to be better than the day before, right? I sat on McKinley's bed and asked him if he was still mad at mama. He looked up at me with those chocolate brown eyes and said, "Mama sit on de rug." I told him he didn't have to sit on the rug right now and that yes, he did have to sit on the rug yesterday. At that moment, my heart was breaking. All he remembered was that mama made him sit on the rug the day before. He didn't remember that on Friday we spent the entire day together, playing, baking and sitting on a bench outside Red Robin while sharing a milkshake. No, those memories didn't stick. The sitting on the rug moments did.

 

We headed to the zoo on Sunday morning and spent the day as a family. It turned out to be the day I needed to make up for the day before. What I'm hoping is that he's remember the good, and the bad, and that the good will always out weigh anything else.